Karen Horney: Theory of the self

Through her views on the individual psyche, Horney postulated that the self is in fact the core of one’s own being and potential.[7] Horney believed that if one has an accurate conception of oneself, then one is free to realize one’s potential and achieve what one wishes, within reasonable boundaries. Thus, she believed that self-actualization is the healthy person’s aim through life — as opposed to the neurotic’s clinging to a set of key needs.

Horney believed that we have two views of ourselves. The “real self” and the “ideal self”. The real self is who and what we actually are. Examples would be parent, child, sister, etc. The real self contains potential for growth, happiness, will power, realization of gifts, etc. The real self has deficiencies that the neurotic does not like. The ideal self is the type of person he feels that he should be and is used as a model to assist him in developing his potential and achieving self-actualization (Engler 125).

Self-actualization is something that individuals strive for. It is important to know the differences between your ideal and real self. Since the neurotic person’s self is split between an idealized self and a corresponding despised self, individuals may feel that they somehow lack living up to the ideals. They feel that there is a flaw somewhere in comparison to what they “should” be. The goals set out by the neurotic are not realistic, or indeed possible. The despised self, on the other hand, has the feeling that it is despised by those around them, and assumes that this incarnation is its “true” self. Thus, the neurotic is like a clock’s pendulum, oscillating between a fallacious “perfection” and a manifestation of self-hate. Horney referred to this phenomenon as the “tyranny of the shoulds” and the neurotic’s hopeless “search for glory”.[8] She concluded that these ingrained traits of the psyche forever prevent an individual’s potential from being actualized unless the cycle of neurosis is somehow broken, through treatment or otherwise.

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